the best bike shorts are jorts

Recently I found myself in Rothrock atop Tussey Ridge. Thickhead Mountain was staring at me but moving away, the result of tunnel vision from climbing hundreds of feet in a relatively short time. When I came to, Clay noticed I had my front tire mounted backwards. Later I would find out my back tire was backwards as well. They must have been mounted like that since January.

The cause of this was simple: the inability of my brain to understand which way my wheels would have to rotate to propel myself forward while staring at an upside down bike. I have no bike stand so I usually do any work with my bike upside down, supported by the seat and handlebars.

I'm a big fan of the right hand rule for stuff like this. It applies to induced magnetic fields from electrical current, statics as the cross product of vectors and induced moments (talking out of my ass, I don't remember exactly what it was used for). But the most practical application of the right hand rule is when dealing with threaded objects. Want to insert a screw or thread on a nut? Point your thumb the direction you want it to go and your fingers curl in the direction necessary to rotate. Bicycle cranks fuck things up a little bit but you can remember the right side of your bike if you're sitting on the seat uses the right hand rule and the left side the left hand rule. There's no intuitive way to mount tires but the right hand rule works if you curl from the front of your bike to the back. Or when mounting tires you could just spin the cranks.

It's only March and there have been some good rides already. I also discovered I pretty much have the best bike commute in the whole world. Last Friday I rode to work. The 15 mile trip to and from took me roughly 1:15 there and 1:30 back. Most of the route follows Spring Creek, probably about 10 miles of it, and when I first saw the creek last Friday a Great Blue Heron saw me and flew off downstream. Later I would catch up and the Heron would take off again. I chased him for about 5 miles. Watching a Great Blue Heron take flight is not unlike watching a B52 take off. Can you think of anything less likely to fly?

rides for bromosexuals

Stay tuned all zero people who read this. I've been experimenting with GIS software at home and at work, with productive results for both applications as an aerial photo saved my bacon today at work, and I am going to begin logging all my rides for 2009. My Garmin 60CSx will be in my pack all year long. First up will be my 16.5 mile crunchy foray into accuweather and scotia this past sunday.

Behold, my weapon of choice.

butts

asses